halli new year
by shel
Summary: phoebe experiences dangerous consequences to the post-holiday blues…
1. part 1

CHARMED

"Halli New Year"

by shel

© february 2012

_disclaimer: the charmed ones, cole, and leo, and the rest of the cast of characters we've come to know and love, belong to spelling television, inc. and possible other copyright holders. i intended no true infringement on their copyrights; i only wanted to borrow these marvelous characters for a short time in my own scenarios and hopefully return them no worse for wear; the only things i've gained from this story are the satisfaction and pleasure of having written it and in knowing that others may have enjoyed it too…_

_rating: pg-13_

_summary: phoebe experiences dangerous consequences to the post-holiday blues…_

_timeline: new year's eve 2006…_

_archive: please don't without expressed permission…_

_notes: this isn't the tale the muse has been taking more than a year to put down in words but what she came up with rather spur of the moment as 2011 came to a close (even if it's still taken a couple of months to complete)… i've taken minor liberties with astral projection and the timeline concerning phoebe & coop as it's been presented in the official 'charmed' comics…there is minor specific reference to season 1's "that 70's episode," season 3's "all halliwell's eve" and "primrose empath," season 4's "enter the demon," "muse to my ears," "lost and bound," and "marry-go-round," season 5's "the importance of being phoebe," "centennial charmed," and "house call," season 6's "love's a witch" and "crimes and witch demeanors," season 7's "witchness protection" and "the seven year witch," and season 8's "rewitched," "engaged and confused," "generation hex," and "forever charmed"… let me know if you enjoyed my tale and why and, if not, why not…and, please, don't bother wasting your time or mine by sending any flames…_

* * *

><p><em><strong>December 31, 2006 – 2:30 p.m.<strong>_

"Don't you have an office?"

Startled, Phoebe jumped in her seat and pressed a hand to her heart. "Give me a heart attack, why don't you?" She quickly minimized the screen she'd been focused on and took a deep breath.

"Sorry," Paige chuckled, "thought you heard me call out. What're you doing here instead of the office?"

As Phoebe's breathing steadied, she nodded towards the big pot simmering on the range. "I put in half a day there. Not much work gets done the second half when it's New Year's Eve. Besides, Piper had to run to the doctor with the boys and asked me to keep an eye on her soup. I figured if I worked on a column, it technically isn't personal time."

Paige peered over her shoulder. "Blue Humbug?"

Phoebe sighed, "Twenty-two year old who quit her job in order to move to Miami with her boyfriend who was being relocated for work. But he broke up with her two weeks before Christmas, she can't get her job back, and she's done nothing but eat ice cream and donuts for the past week. She has no savings so she's having trouble making ends meet. She doesn't know how much longer she'll be able to keep her apartment and wants to know if she should chase after the ex or move back with her parents or switch to cupcakes and cookies and hope it all goes away like a bad dream."

"Sad," Paige commented as Phoebe saved her column and put her laptop to sleep.

"The other letters aren't much better," Phoebe sighed. "So many people reaching out at this time of year, as the holidays wind down…their emotions have gone through such a roller coaster, they have a hard time re-adjusting to the everyday."

"I can relate," Paige admitted. "After my parents died, holidays were a tough time for me, even when I was with my aunt and uncle. Holidays are a time for fun, not for being sad, but when the holidays are over, fun is over and reality can be such a slap in the face."

"Exactly. You were in social work so," Phoebe recalled, "I'm sure you saw plenty of post-holiday blues cases."

"I did," Paige told her, "always a tough time at work." She closed her eyes and whiffed the air appreciatively. "Smells great in here," she said, switching to a less depressing topic, "maybe Piper should consider going back into catering."

Phoebe nodded, "I've talked to her a bit about it, switching P3 from a nightclub to something more like a café. It would mean better hours, less noise, cozier atmosphere, not to mention she could put her cooking skills to better use."

Paige stared at her a moment and leaned back against the island, her elbows propped on the counter. "That's actually a great idea. But isn't the area a bit too industrial for a café? I'm not sure the switch would work in that location."

"If P3's not a club, it wouldn't have to be there," Phoebe agreed. "I've talked to one of our real estate columnists and he thinks there could be a market for a P3 café in a couple of more suburban locations."

"Sounds like you've put a lot of thought into this. What's Piper say about it?" While she knew her older sisters shared a tight bond, she couldn't help but feel out of the loop if such a major change was taking place.

"It's not the restaurant she once dreamed of opening but I think she's interested. Her eyes lit up in a way I haven't seen them do in a long time." She then caught her younger sister's eyes. "We weren't keeping you out of this, honest." She shrugged, "It was just an idea that flitted through my head after that big Thanksgiving concert we had at P3. I wasn't sure I'd even say anything to Piper but she's the one who mentioned that she was worried she didn't have the energy to deal with a New Year's Eve event."

Paige accepted the apology with a shrug of her own. "We've all had a bit of a rough year what with losing Leo for months while we dealt with Billie and Christy and the Triad. And with the new baby coming in a little more than three months, the club's been the last thing on her -"

"She texted me," Phoebe suddenly informed her sister, "Billie, I mean. Just a couple of words wishing us a happy new year; I know it's not much but at least it's not silence."

Paige smiled slightly and pushed herself off the island. She headed to the counter where the cookie jars sat. "Billie's life was turned upside-down this year and seven months isn't all that long, really. She knows we're here and that we love her. All we can do is keep letting her know. Anyway, maybe starting over with P3 will be just the thing that Piper needs to start the new year."

"Maybe," Phoebe considered. "Maybe it's just the thing we _all_ need, well, maybe not you, Ms. Newlywed." Phoebe grinned, "Henry seemed a little worn out the other day. Haven't you warned him yet about a Whitelighter's stamina?"

Paige rolled her eyes. "He's been working double-shifts, covering for cops taking time off for the holidays." Phoebe had given her the perfect segue to discuss the issue at hand, but she only sighed, "So, Wyatt and Chris…"

"Their coughs are worse, Chris has a fever and his nose won't stop running, and Wyatt's started complaining about his ear. Piper thinks he might have an infection."

"Poor little guys." Paige fished two chocolate chip cookies from one of the jars and nibbled on one.

Phoebe watched Paige and momentarily wondered about her sister's middle-of-the-day appearance. Piper hadn't said anything about Paige stopping by. "Everything okay? If you came to talk to Piper, I could -"

"Needed a break from the school," Paige quickly mumbled, crumbs spilling from her lips, "and some home-made cookies."

"When I need a break like that, I skip the cookies, go find my man, and see if we can break together," Phoebe teased.

"Henry doesn't have an office," Paige mumbled into another bite, "and their break-room's smaller than my closet."

"Hello…power to orb to a bed?"

Paige stopped munching and stared at her sister causing Phoebe to laugh at her expression.

"And _that_, ladies and gentlemen, is why _I'm_ the paid advice columnist," Phoebe laughed.

Paige glared at her and looked around. "So, then, why isn't _your_ man here breaking with you while Piper's out?"

Still amused, Phoebe said, "Because I'm not on break, I'm working. And so's he, for that matter. He's been in Kansas since yesterday morning, or maybe it was Kentucky."

Paige offered her sister two cookies and decided to bite the bullet. "So," she began as Phoebe accepted them and bit into one, "seeing as how _we're_ on break together, I've been meaning to ask how Coop -"

"How's recovery going at Magic School?" Phoebe interrupted. "We haven't talked about it in a while."

Paige recognized her sister's evasion tactic but shrugged as she sat at the table next to Phoebe, "Slow. I'm far from an expert but from what Leo's said not as much was lost as everyone feared but setting it right is very slow going."

"Can't you just perform a clean-up spell or something?"

"What, like twitching my nose?"

Phoebe rolled her eyes at her sister's tease. "Lay off _Bewitched_. Samantha was pretty powerful, you know."

This time it was Paige who rolled her eyes. "As it happens, I _did_ ask Leo about using a spell. I thought about the purification spell you used when you tried to cleanse the house after…" She paused when she saw Phoebe stiffen. "Well, you did have good intentions, it's not our fault the witch doctor…" With a dismissive hand, she waved away negative memories, "Anyway, Leo said it wouldn't work and when I asked why, he used the Whitelighter non-answer technique."

Still momentarily distracted by Paige's near reference to her ex-husband, Phoebe murmured, "_You're_ a Whitelighter."

"_Half_, I still don't speak the language." Paige smiled when Phoebe looked back at her with a genuine grin and she tapped her cookie to Phoebe's in a toast. "Seriously, Leo said that since they don't know what demons touched or affected, _every_ book and object needs to be examined to make sure there's no dark magic tainting them before any good witch can use them. You have any idea just how big the place really is and how much clutter there is? They figure it may be more than a year before some areas can be opened again to everyone."

"Guess even demons needed some sort of reference library," Phoebe considered. She shuddered thinking of the collateral damage she'd witnessed when they'd been there under attack. "If you need an extra set of hands…"

Paige smiled and rubbed her sister's arm, "Thanks, I'll let you know. Leo's doing great taking charge in the project even while dealing with Headmaster duties. I know there are other staff members who are brilliant with all things magical but Leo…forget about his being a medic, I really think his calling is Magic School."

"Piper's hinted to me that, with Leo there full-time, they're seriously considering it as an option for Wyatt," Phoebe informed her younger sister. "Magic School might be the best place for him as he learns to control his powers."

"I'm pretty sure I saw Wyatt's name on next semester's roster," Paige confessed. At her sister's raised eyebrow, she explained, "I've been talking to Henry about teaching a class there next semester while I still try to figure out what I want to do in life and I took a look at the rosters to see who I might have in my class."

"That's great, Paige. I know you loved working there."

"Well, I'm not really a teacher so I'm not sure it's where I want to be or _should_ be. I've also been considering going back into social work, something that Henry can relate to better."

Phoebe patted her sister's hand, "As long as you're happy with your job choice, he'll be happy too."

"And _that_, ladies and gentlemen, is why _she's_ the paid advice columnist." Phoebe laughed and she sighed happily, "It's just been so nice these past demon-free months, and -"

"We'll never be demon-free," Phoebe interrupted. "You know it doesn't work that way."

"Demon-lite, then," Paige conceded. She eyed her sister, "How long are you going to wait for the other shoe to drop? You're so worried about letting your guard down for a sneak attack, you haven't let yourself enjoy the now."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Paige shook her head. "No more, Phoebe. You keep changing the subject whenever Piper or I start a conversa-"

"Wait a minute," Phoebe interrupted, sliding off her seat to stand, "you're _not_ on a break are you? Did Piper send you here? She did, didn't she? You're taking advantage of me being stuck here alone."

"Two birds, one stone, and all that," Paige shrugged. "So, big sister, talk to me. What's going on with you? For seven months, the rest of us have been enjoying life again, no more than the minor demon intrusion, and it's been good. Why aren't you as happy as the rest of us?"

"I'm plenty happy," Phoebe argued as she stalked over to the range to check the soup.

"Are we pressuring you too much?"

"About what?" Phoebe asked without turning around as she marched to the cookie jar, pulled one out, and stuffed it into her mouth.

"Coop. I, we, well, we all thought you'd be married by now."

Phoebe sputtered crumbs. "Married?"

"Haven't you and Coop talked about it at all?" Paige wondered. "For heaven's sake, future Wyatt and Chris, even the Angel of Destiny, announced you belong together. Or," her eyes narrowed, "are you just going to live in sin the rest of your lives? What about that ladybug you saw? Are you really not going to marry her daddy?"

"That ladybug might not still exist as that future with the Avatars never happened," Phoebe simply said. "And whether or not Coop and I've talked about her or marriage isn't really any of your business or Piper's."

"Ouch."

Phoebe sighed. "Sorry."

"We're just worried about you," Paige muttered.

"Coop's wonderful and I love him," Phoebe declared. "Really. The way he loves me and has integrated himself into my life and in my family's, it's…even Elise thinks we're adorable together. I'm not sure I have the words to express just how much I _do_ love him."

"Then what's the problem?"

"There is no problem, Paige," Phoebe told her just as Piper called out from the doorway. "Just a minor case of post-holiday blues caught from reading all these letters."

But before Paige could retort that Phoebe had seemed off for weeks before all those letters arrived, Wyatt came flying past his mother and launched himself at her. With a laugh, she lifted him up and nuzzled noses with him.

"Not too close," Piper warned, "or you'll catch his cold."

"Hey, guys," Phoebe greeted as she caught Chris when he toddled into her open arms. "So, how are they?"

"Ear infections for both," Piper glumly replied, looking from Phoebe to Paige. At Paige's shake of the head, she asked Phoebe, "Can you stay a bit longer and watch the boys while I run to the pharmacy to pick up their antibiotics?"

Phoebe glanced at her younger sister, "I suppose."

"Don't worry," Paige assured her, "I've gotta get back to Magic School." She set Wyatt down, blew kisses at both boys, and told Phoebe, "When you're ready, you know where I am."

As Paige started to orb, Phoebe called out, "See you later at the club."

Piper rubbed her belly and frowned. "Everything okay here?"

"Peachy keen," Phoebe replied, barely looking at her older sister. She lowered Chris to the floor and suggested he go play with Wyatt in the solarium. "I'll be right in and we'll build some huge skyscrapers with the blocks," she promised.

Piper watched her boys leave the room, more lethargic than usual. She sighed, "We're worried about you, Pheebs."

"So Paige said." Phoebe puffed out a breath as she turned around, "I'm fine, Piper. Honest. Coop's fine. We're very much in love and you're both worrying for no reason. I'm happy with my life now, truly happy."

"Then why aren't you married? Or even engaged? It's been seven months since we saved the world, again, and you -"

Phoebe threw her hands up in the air, "What is it with you and Paige? I'm not married or engaged because I haven't heard a proposal and I haven't heard a proposal because Coop and I haven't talked about marriage!"

"Why not?"

"Because there's no rush!" Phoebe exclaimed. "We love each other, Piper, and we don't have to prove it or hide it. We're happy enough taking time to enjoy it."

"What about -"

"We're not ready for marriage," Phoebe impatiently interrupted again. "I know I was in this rush before 'cuz of the premonition but now that Coop and I…it's real, Piper. What Coop and I have is real and it will last. Marriage, a family, that can wait. We need this time for _us_. We need to adjust to this commitment we've made to each other before we…we're not ready for the rest yet. We're not," she insisted when she caught Piper's incredulous expression. "Look, Coop's still fairly new to the mortal world and we need mo-"

"New? It's been almost a year since you met him!" Piper countered. "And he's been living with you for seven months!"

"And he's still adjusting. We're _both_ still adjusting. And we're trying to work out the balance of everyday life and magic. Isn't that what _you've_ always been searching for?"

"Aunt Phoebe…"

"Coming, Wyatt," Phoebe called out. "Go, get to the pharmacy so that I'll have some more time for my column before I have to get ready for the club."

"I could work the party, you know. Leo's perfectly capable of watching his sons."

Phoebe shook her head. "Coop didn't expect to be back before tomorrow at the earliest so there's no sense in you and Leo being apart tonight when the countdown hits one. Besides, you're exhausted and I'll have Paige and Henry there helping me. The party will be great so don't worry."

Piper reached out and hugged her sister who then patted her belly, "I'll be back in a few." But she turned in the doorway and added, "And about what Paige said before, I'm here for you too, whenever you're ready."

"Love you," Phoebe replied with a slight smile.

When Piper left, instead of going to the boys, Phoebe went back to her laptop, opened it, and maximized the screen she'd hidden from Paige. Her eyes welled with tears so she squeezed her eyes shut in an attempt to keep them at bay.

"Aunt Phoebe!"

"Coming Wyatt," Phoebe's voice cracked. And, with a swift click of her mouse, she closed the picture that had filled her screen.

Cole.


	2. part 2

_**December 31, 2006 – 6:30 p.m.**_

Cole.

Phoebe stood behind the bar organizing the glasses, unable to keep the images of him in the club from filling her vision. She smiled, just for a moment, when she pictured the demon wearing angel wings. What a night that had been.

She glanced around and saw the few staff members helping set up, as well as Paige and Henry busy with their tasks. She straightened some of the liquor bottles, letting her hand rest on one, cringing when she recognized it as a favorite of Cole's.

She quickly pushed the bottle into place and grabbed a cloth to wipe down the bar. Her hand stilled when she suddenly wondered if Cole was the reason she had rarely visited P3 in the past few years. For so long she'd used work as her excuse, that she had to keep up with all the mail or make up for missing work due to "family emergencies," that it was almost routine not to go. Not once had it occurred to her that she might have been avoiding the place because of him.

P3 was Piper's livelihood and it was doing okay as she tried to balance motherhood and Charmed business. And not once did she complain that her sisters no longer helped out as they once did. She simply accepted the help when it was offered. Phoebe frowned with guilt as she thought of all the times she could've helped but made excuses instead.

Her hand began moving on its own as she grew more distracted by these unnerving thoughts. It's not as if she'd never set foot in club again but, being honest with herself now, she realized that if Piper didn't make an issue of being overwhelmed or of hosting a major event, Phoebe didn't volunteer and didn't spend her free time there.

Apart from minor superficial changes, P3 was the same club it had been since it opened. In fact, Phoebe preferred its intimacy to the wildness often present in the more prominent clubs in the Bay City area. She'd always been proud of Piper for making it something like a hidden gem of the club scene.

But as she now looked around the empty club, she further admitted to herself that, despite it all, P3 _felt_ different. And not even dancing with Coop there changed that feeling in her. In fact, she felt a little lost being there. And she'd never felt that way before, at least not before Cole had been gone from her life.

Scrubbing at the fairly clean counter, she reminded herself that _Coop_ was in her life now. She was building a future with _him_ and had no reason to feel lost at all, and certainly not in her own family's business. It wasn't as if they'd lost P3.

But what if _she_'d had? What if that was the root of her issues with the club? What if that was the true reason spurring her idea of turning P3 into a café? If P3 was completely renovated or in a different location, wouldn't she hang out there more often? What if it was all some subconscious desire just to avoid memories of Cole?

She'd never thought of P3 as _their_ place. For some odd reason, that spot was, in her mind, the mausoleum. But she hadn't been _there_ in years. And it wasn't as if she even had so many memories of Cole there, just that it was the place she'd felt most safe with him, safe with him from both sides, safe to love him. It almost made her wish she _did_ have more memories of that place, happier ones.

She didn't shrink from her memories anymore, not after that trip she'd taken with Coop to see her past loves. He'd managed to break through the shield she'd unknowingly built around her heart. With his help, she slowly accepted that it wasn't wrong to have loved Cole or to have been loved by him. It was something to cherish. But it wasn't easy because the memories still brought sadness, the tinge of tragedy, so she didn't allow herself to be often overwhelmed.

And that's why it probably hurt more when the memories caught her by surprise. Needing to use the bathroom and being hit with the images of sharing a bubble bath with Cole while tossing Grams's ring down the drain; or helping Piper get back into fighting shape after Chris's birth by working out in the basement and seeing a flash of Cole standing there, poised with the sword, sweat gleaming on his bare chest.

She'd never hidden from the manor and all the memories of him there. And there so many; all the arguments, the laughs they shared, the times they'd made love. But the manor meant home to her and it was a good thing the memories hadn't scared her away. She didn't want to think what would happen if she couldn't think of the manor as home.

Even during the brief time she'd lived in the penthouse, home had meant the manor. She paused a moment from wiping the counter and pictured the penthouse in her mind. It had been such a change from the old-fashioned coziness of the manor and yet she'd still been happy there. Because the penthouse was where she'd intended to start forever with Cole, the man she'd loved and married. She hadn't set foot in the penthouse since the day she went back to pack his things but her memories there, just as in the manor, didn't make her feel sad and lost, not like being at P3 seemed to do.

Maybe P3 _was_ more special than she realized. She closed her eyes. Other than the manor, it was the only place left that she could still visit, where the many memories of Cole felt nearly tangible.

Phoebe felt a chill and opened her eyes. It was almost as if she could feel him, even now, after all this time. Her eyes darted to the booth that "belonged" to the sisters. All those times she'd been nestled in his arms while they watched the action on the floor. She rubbed her arms and closed her eyes again. She could almost feel his arms wrapped around her.

For a split second she wished it was true and then guilt snapped her eyes open. Cole was gone. He was in the past and she was making her life, her future, with Coop. Her fingers clenched the rag as she tried to stop the sudden assault of memories on her mind, one image after another of Cole, of herself and Cole, in the club.

Her eyes stung with unshed tears when she saw herself dancing with him alone in the club, dressed in World War II-era costumes. "Stop," she ordered herself and squeezed her eyes shut.

"Hey, you okay?" Paige grabbed her sister's hand. She held it firmly in an effort to stop it from trembling, "Phoebe?"

"I'm fine," Phoebe sniffed, pulled her hand free, and swiped at her eyes. "I'm gonna get the confetti. Piper had some locked in the supply closet from last year."

"Why would she lock up confetti?"

Phoebe shrugged and dropped the cloth on the counter. "The key's in her office, I'll get it."

"Let me orb you to Coop," Paige offered instead.

"I told Piper I would take charge tonight."

"Honey, it's New Year's Eve, your first with Coop. Henry and I can manage the party on our own, no problem."

"Thanks, Paige, but Coop's busy," Phoebe countered. "I'll be back in a minute. Y'know, we're making quick progress here. Piper said to open the doors at 7:30 but we could be ready by 7:00. Think we can manage?"

"I guess. There's plenty of booze and I don't think an extra half hour will make much of a difference."

Phoebe nodded, "Be right back."

"Hey, Phoebe," Henry greeted as she passed him. He looked to his wife a moment later, "Is she okay?"

"No," Paige replied as she leaned into her husband for a hug. "But she won't talk to me or Piper about what's bothering her. And something is, Henry, I know it."

"Maybe you two should back off the marriage thing," he suggested.

"She said they haven't discussed it, that they're not ready."

"Maybe they're not."

"That's ridiculous," Paige lightly slapped at his arm and pulled away. "He's a Cupid. He'll be the perfect husb-"

"And what do Cupids know about being husbands?" he interrupted. He held up a hand, "Oh, I know they've helped _guide_ husbands but what do they know about _being_ husbands? I know _I_ was worried before I married you. I loved you and wanted to be a good husband -"

"And you are," she kissed him, wrapping her arms around his waist. "The very best."

He smiled and continued, "I'm just saying that until we were married and living together as husband and wife, I'm not sure I really knew what to expect. Even now there are times I wonder if there's some marriage rule I'm missing. And I'm mortal. Can you imagine what it must be like for a Cupid who deals with marriage all the time?"

"A bit scary, I guess," Paige considered. "And I guess maybe Phoebe hasn't had much luck with marriages considering her dark ceremony to the Source of all Evil and her elopement to Dex while she was caught in Billie's spell."

"Give her time," Henry suggested. "All that matters is that they love each other and are committed to each other."

"She says they are," Paige sighed.

Henry kissed the top of her head, "Then back off and let them figure it out."

* * *

><p>Phoebe growled in frustration. The middle drawer of the desk where Piper kept the key to the closet was stuck. A call to Piper didn't help as she was told the drawer had been working perfectly fine the day before. Once again, she gripped the handle and pulled but it remained stuck. "Dammit!"<p>

She stared at it a moment before deciding that she might be able to shove the drawer open if she tried pushing it from the inside. So she opened the top drawer as far as it could go and slid her hand down into the middle drawer.

But there wasn't much room for her arm to maneuver and she couldn't grip anything to push the drawer open. As she pulled her hand out, she yelped from a sudden pain in her index finger. "Paper cut," she muttered as she watched the small cut well with blood. She grabbed a bandage from the open top drawer and wrapped it around her fingertip.

She was about to slam the drawer shut when she spotted a piece of paper sticking in the track of the drawer. Realizing it was likely the cause of the jam, she tried to pull it out. It felt like photo paper and she didn't want to damage it but she still gave the paper a tug. She heard a soft rip and immediately stopped.

She awkwardly reached in with both hands and tried again. After a few seconds, she felt the paper give so she put a bit more energy into pulling on it. Suddenly, it was free but in the process she banged her knuckles on the edge of the desk. "Ow!"

Unfortunately, at the same time, the photo tore, nearly in half. Staring at the white side, she turned it over and gasped in recognition. Her own copy of the photo was framed and sitting on her bedroom dresser with a number of other family photos. But her heart still pounded as the memory of that Halloween night flooded her mind.

Prue had just come back to the bar telling them about Mitch and his amazing resemblance to Micah, not just in looks, while she had excitedly announced that Cole, that angel, had just left and promised to call her the next day. Piper teased them both about falling in love and then insisted that Leo take their picture. Phoebe was sandwiched between her older sisters; all still wearing their seventeenth century dresses. The love between the sisters had never been more evident and it was one of Phoebe's favorite pictures of the three of them.

Her eyes filled with tears. That night had been so special for them, for her in particular. Of the three, she was the one who so readily embraced being a witch and that night, that time spent in the past learning about the origin of their powers, of their heritage, meant so much to her. She remembered Prue's face when she'd finally come in for a landing on her broom. Prue had been glowing with pride and Phoebe had never been as pleased by her big sister's approval.

Her heart ached with the memory, again tinged with tragedy due the loss of that big sister, but, even as she touched Prue's face in the photo, it was Cole's face that was so vivid in her mind. And he wasn't even _in_ the picture.

The photo slipped from her fingers and Phoebe watched it flutter to the floor. Her head was already pounding in synch with her heart as she recalled Cole's part in their visit to the past. His machinations. It all jumbled together. So much pain. And so much love. "That damned apple peel," she whispered.

She'd taken it as a sign that Cole was her true love. She squeezed her eyes shut as a conversation with Cole, a year later, played in her mind. That quiet conversation, lying in his arms, where he confessed that it was that very moment of spying on her that crystallized his feelings for her even if he didn't know it at the time.

And yet, here she was now, years later, in love with a different man whose name just so happens to also begin with a "C." A man so completely opposite from the first and yet loves her just the same, if not more. A man whom Destiny assured was a blessed future.

She gasped for breath as emotions swirled violently within her. For a moment she was dizzy and thought she would pass out. It was overwhelming her, all the love, the pain, the despair. "I need to get out of here," she whispered as she ran out.

"Phoebe!" Paige shouted as Phoebe ran past her, straight for the stairs.

But Phoebe couldn't stop, she merely called back in a quivering voice, "I, I need some air…I'll be back soon."

Henry held back his wife. "Give her time."

Paige was about to ignore him and orb out anyway but, looking into his eyes, she realized he was right. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and said, "There's no sense in worrying Piper so let's get the key to the closet, get the confetti, and finish getting ready so we can open."

Just as they turned away, Coop appeared in front of them. "What happened? How bad is she?"

"How did you know?" Paige wondered.

"I felt her pain. Paige, tell me. It's not like before, is it?" he paused as the memory of Piper telling him that Phoebe had been killed flashed in his mind. "No," he realized when he easily sensed Phoebe's presence, easing some of the panic, "Phoebe's not dead."

"Of course not," Paige quickly assured him. "But something did happen that caused her to run out of here like a -"

"She's still here," Coop insisted.

"She ran out not two minutes ago," Henry confirmed.

"That's not right," Coop frowned. He closed his eyes and turned in the direction of Piper's office. "She's in there."

Paige shot her husband a worried looked and chased after Coop who was already rushing towards the office. And when he threw open the door, she froze in shock when they found Phoebe lying unconscious on the floor.


	3. part 3

_**December 31, 2006 – 8:30 p.m.**_

Sitting on the floor, Phoebe wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands and took a deep breath. And then she took another breath. And another.

When she felt comfortable enough that she wasn't going to burst into tears again, she took another deep breath and slumped back against Benjamin Turner's marble vault.

Her mind was a storm of memories of Cole and, as her eyes grew accustomed again to the dark mausoleum, she realized how lucky she was she that she had made it there in one piece. She couldn't recall anything about getting there. The last clear image she had was staring at the photo of herself and her sisters in Piper's office.

What'd she do with her car? Had she levitated over the locked gates? Had she stumbled her way through the cemetery? Did it even matter? All she'd seemed to be doing since she shoved open the door to the mausoleum was cry.

She should call for Paige, take her up on her offer of orbing to Coop. Phoebe needed him, needed his love to help her through this pain.

Shouldn't he have sensed it? Weren't they connected now? Why didn't he come on his own? Was his case more important? And why was she in such pain anyway?

"What am I doing here?" she asked herself, although she made no move to stand. "Cole's been gone nearly four years." She closed her eyes and uttered, "Seems like longer."

In fact, Cole had been gone from her life longer than he'd ever been a part of it. How could he still have such an impact on her that she could grieve like this four years later when she was in love with someone else?

"And I love Coop," she announced, as if needing to convince some higher power. "I love Coop and want to be with him."

So why was her heart crying out for Cole? This time of year always brought sad memories, his approaching birthday and the anniversary of his death, but this year she was involved with someone else, someone who loved her and someone she loved in return. Why did it seem so much worse this year?

The answer came bubbling up from within her and she cried out, "Because I've finally moved on and that makes it real! I can't change the past and he died thinking I hated him. And now he'll never know. Because it's too late! And I'm lost."

Phoebe hugged her knees and quietly repeated the phrase with sudden certainty, "I'm lost."

She wanted her future with Coop but she ultimately couldn't let go of her past with Cole.

Shifting her gaze to the ceiling, she screamed in a voice raw from her bouts of crying, "And I can't do this anymore! Don't you understand? I can't! It's tearing me apart!" And with that, she began to weep again.

* * *

><p>"Anything?" Piper asked her husband when Leo entered the attic.<p>

Next to her, Paige looked up from the Book of Shadows, "There has to be. The Book doesn't have anything."

Coop, who sat on the old sofa where Phoebe lay, didn't take his eyes off her while he gripped one of her hands in his. With his other hand, he brushed some tendrils of hair from her eyes. "She's still here. I feel her."

Leo nodded but somberly added, "But she's also _not_ here."

At that, Coop turned his head. "I feel her," he insisted. "Nowhere else. Just _here_."

"Because that half's connected to you," Leo said.

"What do you mean, half?" Piper whispered as she stepped closer to Phoebe.

"The Elders believe Phoebe's suffered a rift of her soul."

"That's impossible!" Coop exclaimed as he jumped to his feet. "I would have felt it happen. I would feel it now."

Paige eyed one man and then the other before quietly reminding Coop, "You said you felt her pain."

He spun around to face her, "Heartache, not pain from a rift." He turned back to Leo. "They're wrong."

Piper placed her hand on Coop's arm. "What's a rift of the soul? I don't think I've seen it mentioned in the Book."

"It's rare," he told them. "It's likely your ancestors never came across the experience."

"But," Leo added, "Phoebe hasn't exhibited any of the familiar signs of attack which is why the Elders suspect it was self-inflicted. It's even more rare but there _is_ precedence."

"Never!" Coop growled. "Phoebe would _never_ have done such a thing!"

Taken aback by the Cupid's vehement tone, Piper suggested, "Maybe they're wrong. Maybe this is something like astral projection gone wrong."

Liking the idea, Paige quickly added, "I knew she was feeling down and offered to orb her to you, Coop, but she said you were busy. What if she decided she _did_ need you and tried to astral project to you? Both Henry and I did see her running out of the club and she never touched either one of us."

"When you astral project, your soul leaves your body. But Phoebe's is here in hers." Coop shook his head, "I _feel_ it."

"But a part of her soul _is_ missing," Leo repeated. "I'm sorry, I know it's not what you want to hear but it's -"

"Crazy," Piper simply stated. "That's just crazy, Leo."

"Tell him, Coop," Paige invited. "You can _feel_ her, you said so yourself."

Coop slowly sat down again and gently placed his palm over Phoebe's heart. He closed his eyes and his own heart glowed. "Oh, Phoebe," he whispered with sudden horror. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Oh, sweetheart. Oh, love."

"No," Piper gasped as she watched Coop take Phoebe's hand and bring it to his lips. She looked to Leo. "What do we do?" But she quickly turned to Paige and tugged her younger sister's hand. "C'mon, we'll scry for her."

"It won't work," Coop told them, without taking his eyes off Phoebe.

"You practically admitted that Leo's right, that half of Phoebe's soul is gone. We've got to find her other half!"

"What he means," Leo gently tried to explain, "is that even if you find it, it will be impossible to merge the two halves back together. It's never been done."

"We've been to hell and back too many times to count," Piper reminded her husband. "We've come back from the dead and even re-set the world once or twice."

"We're the Charmed Ones, the most powerful witches of our generation," Paige added. "_Nothing_'s impossible."

"There are some things even the Charmed Ones can't change," Leo shook his head. He nodded to the torn picture that lay on Phoebe's stomach. "Prue, for one."

"But Phoebe's not dead so it won't stop us from trying," Paige declared. "Come on, Piper."

But Piper's gaze remained on the photo and, with trembling fingers, she reached down to pick it up.

"Piper, come on, we can't waste any more time."

Still looking at her sisters in the photo, Piper wondered, "Do you remember this, Leo? Do you remember that night? Six years ago. God, it seems like a lifetime."

Paige came over and reluctantly looked at the picture. "You all look very happy," she said as she tried to gently pry the photo from Piper's fingers

"We were," Piper wistfully recalled. "Prue met Mitch who was the spitting image of Micah, the hottie who helped us when we were stuck in the past. She ended up dating him for a couple of weeks before they mutually called it off."

"And Phoebe?" Paige asked. "Wasn't this when she started seeing Cole?"

"He'd already been hanging around for a month or so," Piper sighed, "but I think this is when they both realized it was starting to get serious." She slowly frowned. "Cole." Then her eyes widened and she muttered, "I'm such an idiot! This is all about Cole."

Confused, Paige questioned, "How? He doesn't exist anymore and Phoebe's moved on with Coop. They're in love."

"We are," Coop confirmed, glancing up at the two sisters. "But that doesn't mean that Phoebe doesn't still love Cole."

"It's in the past," Paige insisted. "She got over him a long time ago."

Coop shook his head, "You never get over a love like that, Paige, not really. That was part of the reason why I was sent to Phoebe in the first place. She never dealt with her love for him; she bottled it up inside. And it wasn't until I took her on a trip to see her past loves that she began to come to terms with what happened in the end."

"I didn't realize," Paige murmured. "She didn't talk much about it so I thought it was over and done with. Piper?"

"Phoebe's emotions always ran to extremes when it came to Cole," Piper sighed. "And isn't it almost the anniversary of when he was vanquished for good?"

"You don't think she keeps track?" Paige asked with sudden annoyance. "Why? Why would it matter anymore?"

"Because she loved him, Paige," Piper sighed again. "And she never had a chance to say goodbye because she wasn't there at the end. It was an alter-ego of hers that vanquished him."

"Phoebe never found closure," Coop agreed. "We've talked about that."

"Yeah, well maybe if you would've been talking marriage instead, Phoebe wouldn't be lying here missing half her soul!"

"Paige!"

Paige quickly apologized. "I just feel so helpless."

"If she felt that caught between extremes," Leo realized, "it might have been enough to rend her soul in two."

"I never had even the slightest hint," Coop sadly said. "She's not strong enough in her empathic powers to hide something like that from me and I never realized there was still such pain. Maybe we're not as connected as we thought."

"Maybe she didn't know," Paige suggested. "She admitted today that she's been a bit down but said it was due to work and the post-holiday blues."

But Piper locked eyes with her husband. "We'll need his help."

"Not if you have to die to reach him," Leo disagreed as he stepped towards her. "Scrying _might _work."

"This way is better."

"What way?" Paige asked. "What are you two talking about?"

But Piper was spared from replying when Coop suddenly announced that Phoebe's emotions seemed stronger.

"Not much," he clarified, "but they're a bit more clear now."

Leo nodded, "Physically, she's fine. Emotionally, though, she'll need time to recover. The Elders have no reason to believe she won't survive the rift."

"She's the strongest witch I know," Coop agreed, caressing her face. "With love and support, she'll be just fine."

"How can she be just fine without half her soul?" Paige exclaimed. "We have to try to find it and get it back. Even if it doesn't work, we owe it to Phoebe to try."

"Leo," Piper began, "if she's there, I could bring her back. She'll listen to me."

"If Phoebe's where?" Paige asked.

Leo shook his head, "It doesn't work like that, Piper. Think of the baby."

"I am," she snapped. "I'm thinking she needs her aunt. Leo, I came back before. Phoebe will too."

"Piper, honey, it's not -"

"Leo, you said yourself that physically she's fine. She has a body to come back to," she insisted, "so all I have to do is convince her she's not lost, that there's no reason to be, and her soul will return where it belongs."

"Lost?" Coop suddenly looked at them with new eyes. "You don't mean - You're wrong, Piper. She's not in limbo."

Piper awkwardly knelt next to the Cupid, placing her hand on his arm. "You _know_ her, Coop. And you of all people know how hard it's been for her to let love in. This goes deeper than just Cole. Phoebe's been troubled by love her whole life."

Coop nodded in understanding, "It stems from the loss of your parents at such a young age, particularly your mother."

"I lost my parents too," Paige quietly reminded them, "but it didn't stop me from loving others."

"I know," Piper acknowledged, "but Phoebe always seemed to take those losses the hardest."

"Her empathic abilities," Coop reasoned, lightly kissing Phoebe's fingertips.

"Your powers were bound," Paige reminded her sister.

"Still," Piper considered as she accepted Leo's help to stand, "Phoebe closed herself off from relationships, from serious ones I mean. If she never let others in, she'd never feel hurt when they inevitably left."

"So what's this about limbo?" Paige asked instead. "Wait a minute, you're not talking about limbo where the soul goes after you die, are you?" When Piper remained silent, Paige waved her hand in annoyance, "That's ridiculous. For a number of reasons, including, most importantly, Phoebe's _not dead_. She's lying right here, breathing, and -"

"Limbo is where the lost souls go," Piper softly interrupted. "I told you that after my experience there last year. Paige, we've known for weeks that Phoebe's seemed down. Maybe none of us, not even Phoebe, knew how lost she was really feeling. Her missing soul is there, Paige, in limbo, I'm right, I know it."

Paige turned to Leo, "Didn't you say that Prue couldn't handle being an empath? Remember the trouble Phoebe had adjusting too?" She now directed her comments to Piper, "Do you remember how many times she locked herself away from us because it was overwhelming her? Even if she knew she was meant to have the power, weren't we the ones who drank the potion so she wouldn't be overwhelmed by our feelings while she learned to use it? And she had it for what, half-a-year, if that long, before her powers were taken away?"

"But, Paige, she -"

"No buts, Piper. It took Phoebe years to learn how to use her other powers. Who's to say she would ever have adjusted to empathy? This is holiday time and her emotions are already overwhelmed, just like everyone else in the city. What if her empathic power has come back now and this isn't just a case of post-holiday blues and a heavy mailbag?" She took a breath, almost relieved her sister was letting her run on. It meant there was a part of Piper that believed she might be right. "Did she show you the column she was working on? This letter from Blue Humbug was so sad and if that was the tip of the iceberg…Maybe it's not that _Phoebe_'s feeling lost but that she's overwhelmed by _other_ people's emotions of feeling lost."

Piper felt her resolve weakening. Maybe Paige had a point. She smoothed her blouse, letting her fingers linger over the spot the baby just kicked. She looked to her baby sister and shrugged, "I don't know…"

"If the Elders hadn't thought of a rift," Coop mused, "it could be a possible explanation. But, Paige, I can sense it now, I can sense her soul and I feel the loss."

"She probably wasn't even aware of what was happening," Leo clarified. "It might well have even been a combination of her own feelings and the return of her power. But the bottom line is, it's happened, and we have to deal with it."

"I should have realized," Coop murmured, caressing Phoebe's cheek. "But there was such love, _always_ love, that I felt."

"Because she _does_ love you, Coop," Leo promised. "And you'll continue to love each other as she recovers."

"But a piece of her will always be missing," Piper shook her head, "unless I can bring it back."

"_We_ bring it back," Paige corrected.

"This is something I can do alone," she told her sister. After her experience in limbo, when she and Leo were lying in bed after celebrating their renewed love, she told him of her decision to keep Cole's presence a secret. It wasn't a decision she regretted and she wasn't about to bring it up now, not if she could bring back Phoebe and keep Cole's name out of it. "I won't be in any danger. I'll be right back with a pot of water."

Paige didn't buy that for a minute. "Even if the water portal works, that vortex is there, Piper. There's always a danger. And you'll be alone. What if something goes wrong?"

"Don't be silly," Piper chuckled, "we've done this before."

"You weren't pregnant before," Coop cautioned. "Phoebe would never want you to put the baby in danger."

"Piper, I'm _not_ letting you do this alone," Paige added.

Piper sobered as she informed her sister, "I won't be alone."

"The old friend," Paige muttered.

But before Paige would inevitably ask just whom the friend was, Piper quickly implored, "Paige, please, I need to do this and I need you to help Henry at the club. I can't cancel the event now. Please."

Paige looked to Leo but saw she'd get no support from him. So she reluctantly agreed, "Fine. But if anything happens, I'm not going to your funeral." But she gave Piper a quick hug to counter her words and orbed back to P3.

"Are you sure you can do this?" Leo asked Piper, caressing her belly.

"Phoebe wouldn't want it. She'll be okay, she just needs time, like Leo said," Coop spoke distractedly as he pressed another kiss to Phoebe's fingertips.

Piper spied something in Leo's eyes, "What?"

Leo looked from one to the other and hesitated. At Piper's urging, he mentioned, "A true rift is impossible to mend but if there were other causes behind what happened to Phoebe, and, if you're right, Piper, if Phoebe's missing soul does exist in limbo then, maybe, there's a slim chance, we can merge the halves."

Piper grabbed her husband's arm, "I knew it. How? I'll do anything Leo."

He gently removed her hand and explained, "There's a book we cleansed a few weeks ago. One of the oldest texts I've ever personally held. I skimmed through parts of it and a spell caught my eye. I'm not sure why but, as your Grams believed, everything happens for a reason. It's possible the spell can help Phoebe."

Piper planted a kiss on his lips and shooed him away. "Go, get the spell." She then turned to Coop, "Are you really okay with all this stuff about Cole?"

He glanced down at his love, "I can't be jealous, Piper, not of love. I know I'm still new to feeling it myself but it doesn't quite work that way for a Cupid." He shrugged, "I don't know, maybe if he was still alive and she was faced with a genuine option, I might feel - what? What's wrong?"

Suddenly shaken by the truth she'd kept hidden from all but Leo, Piper replied, "Nothing, it's…nothing. I'm just worried about Phoebe." When he grimaced, she asked in return, "What's wrong?"

"My case, I've got to get back." Bringing Phoebe's hand first to his lips, he gently laid it on her stomach before he stood.

"Now? You're leaving now?"

"I have to, Piper. Phoebe's not in any real danger anymore, Leo's looking for a spell, and the club's under control. I can't do anything for her right now." He reached out and gave her a hug. "Have faith in your sister. She _does_ love me and she _will_ recover from this. I'll be back soon as I can."


	4. part 4

_**December 31, 2006 – 10:00 p.m.**_

"So now you know," Piper finished. She stared at the tall demon before her and watched as her words sank in. She heard the chime of the grandfather clock and was startled by how much time had passed. "So how fast can you find her?"

He spun from her and stalked to the attic windows. "Dammit, Piper! She can't recover from a rift!"

Piper looked to the sofa where Phoebe's body lay. "Leo found a spell," she told him. "Some really old book at Magic School. He thinks it could work."

Cole spun back in surprise. "It's never been done."

Piper shrugged, "First time for everything?"

Still angry, he pointed a finger at Phoebe, "How the hell did this happen? Your little venture here last year was supposed to save her! Hell, I thought the Cupid _had_ saved her!"

"They love each other," Piper nodded. "She's telling the truth about that. She _wants_ her future with Coop." She saw a flicker of pain in Cole's eyes and apologized. "But it's just…it's just we're coming into this time of year."

"January? What the hell's wrong with January?"

"You probably never noticed when you were living in the mortal world," Piper explained, "but humans often have a tendency to feel sad as the holiday season winds down. It's actually a syndrome, the post-holiday blues."

After a moment, Cole nodded, "I've seen some of its effects here."

"Phoebe's never reacted this badly but her mailbag this year seems overloaded with painful letters asking for help."

"Overwhelming her," he realized. "If her empathy's been activated again, she might've had something of an overload. It's possible it was strong enough to cause a rift."

"It's not just work," Piper added, "it's you."

"Me?" He grew annoyed, "I thought you believed that I love her and only want what's best for her."

"That's not what I meant," Piper quickly said, over the last part of his sentence. "I mean you tend to be on her mind at this time of year." He seemed confused so she clarified, "January…your birthday and -"

"My vanquish," he finished for her. He gazed at his wife, ex-wife, he corrected his thoughts. "I didn't realize she still kept track."

"Neither did we," Piper admitted. "It's been a couple of years since she's seemed this off at this time of year. None of us thought twice about it this year because she has Coop in her life now. And both seem adamant about loving each other."

"Phoebe does have a tendency to bottle things up," he quietly said.

Piper tried not to show her surprise at hearing Cole verbalize the same insight as the Cupid. "Will you help me?"

"You wouldn't have come if you didn't already know the answer," he snapped. "But there's nothing I _can_ do. I would sense if she was here and I don't."

"Maybe because it's not her full soul," Piper argued, "but this is where lost souls go, you told me that yourself, and she's been feeling so lost, Cole. She _is_ here, I'm sure of it. We just have to find her."

He closed his eyes for a moment. "I'm telling you, Piper, I don't sen-"

"Try harder," she demanded. "Limbo can't be that big a place."

He opened his eyes and glared at her, "An expert are you?"

"Dammit, Cole, this isn't -"

"Wait," Cole interrupted. He turned to the sofa and closed his eyes. When he opened them, he told Piper, "I know where she is. Go back home."

"Not without Phoebe."

"She doesn't need us both ganging up on her," he argued. "Go home and let me do my job." She seemed reluctant and he softened his tone, "This _is_ what I do, Piper. And if I'm part of the reason Phoebe is here, I'm the one who will be able to reach her. Trust me. I'll bring her back to you."

* * *

><p>Somewhere, deep inside, Phoebe realized she was in trouble. It wasn't healthy to have this many crying jags within a few hours. But she couldn't seem to stop.<p>

Every time she'd calmed herself, as she had at the moment, some image, some memory, of Cole would set her off again.

She began to pace. How could she have thought she could put him in the past? How could she move on with another man when Cole was still so important to her?

"This is crazy," she whispered. "I shouldn't be this torn up about him, not now, not after everything we've been through this year. Coop loves me and I love him. Cole has a piece of my heart but he doesn't own it. He's gone."

But with those uttered words, the tears began again and she collapsed to the floor. So lost was she in her grief that she didn't feel the strong arms gather her close nor hear the low voice soothe her, "Don't cry, Phoebe, not for me. Don't cry…"

Eventually, Phoebe calmed but her eyes remained closed in exhaustion and her mind didn't register the other presence.

Kissing the top of her head and rubbing her arms, Cole continued to murmur words of comfort. The time to deal with her issues would come soon enough. For the moment, he was content to sit there and hold her.

"Cole…"

"I'm here," he confirmed. "It's okay, Phoebe, you'll be okay."

She stirred in his arms and opened her eyes. "Cole…" And then realization set in and she sat up with a start, nearly knocking her head into his chin. "I don't…Cole…"

He swept some hair behind her ear, "I'm here."

"You're…here? It's not…I'm not dreaming?"

"I wish you were," he quietly said.

"You're here?" When he nodded, she impulsively threw her arms around his neck, "Oh, Cole!"

"Don't cry, Phoebe, don't cry."

"How? I don't understand…"

Cole rubbed her back and kissed her crown. And just as he wondered how long it would take for her to remember about her current lover, he felt her stiffen. He kissed the top of her head once more and gently pushed her back.

Shock had set in and she began shivering so he took off his jacket and draped it around her shoulders.

"I don't understand," she whispered again. She pulled the jacket tighter around her, unconsciously sniffing his lapel. "How did you survive? Where have you been?"

"Oh, Phoebe," he murmured, caressing her cheek, "I didn't. And I've been here."

"Here? All along? I wish I'd kno-"

"Not here specifically," he sighed as he pulled her into his arms when she began to tremble. "I've been in this realm."

"Why didn't you come here before? Why didn't you let me know you were alive?"

His touch seemed to comfort her so he continued to caress her. "I'm _not_ alive," he emphasized, realizing she hadn't processed his earlier statement. "And while I can very briefly make my presence known in yours, we're not currently in _your_ realm, Phoebe. We're in _mine_."

"I don't understand. I left the club and went to the mausoleum. We're in the mausoleum."

"Only because that's what your soul wishes this to be," he quietly explained. "It didn't look like this the last time. I believe you said it was a desolate area of rocks and dead trees before it turned into a beautiful garden."

It was still another moment before he saw it click into place for her. "It's all right, Phoebe," he tried to calm her in anticipation of her reaction.

"Limbo?" she gasped before she scrambled backwards, out of his embrace. "Limbo? I'm in limbo?" In a panic, she got to her knees and rushed to the door, "I'm not dead! I can't be dead! I have to get out of here!"

"Phoebe!"

But when she flung open the door of the mausoleum, she was faced with nothing but a heavy fog. She spun back to Cole who held his hands up in surrender. "It's okay, Phoebe. You're safe."

"I can't be dead, I -"

"You're _not_ dead," he interrupted, taking a step forward to match her step back.

"But last year, Piper was in limbo and...limbo…Cole?"

Cole watched her eyes widen with sudden realization and he admitted, "Yes, _that_ limbo."

"Piper said it was an old friend," she told him in a hushed voice.

"I'm glad she felt that way," he sighed as he held out a hand. "Will you come with me?"

She felt a jumble of emotions, one no stronger than another, and she turned from him, looking into the fog. Every now and then a dark shape would drift by. "What's out there?"

"Souls. The lost ones, the ones that have been unable to move on, one way or another."

She turned back to face him and stared at the hand he still stretched in her direction. "I don't feel dead. I'm solid. I've been crying. And I can touch you. And -"

"And you could do all those things when you helped the Zen Master too. Things work differently in this realm than you might expect." He finally let his arm drop back down to his side.

Phoebe wrapped her arms across her middle and she sank to her knees. The tears came immediately.

He darted to her and held her. She pressed her face into his chest and it took him a few moments to understand what she was saying. Immediately, he argued with her, "It's not, Phoebe. It's _not_ your fault." But she was lost in her tears and he simply comforted her until she calmed again.

When she felt as if she had no more tears left, she weakly pushed against his chest. But she couldn't face him and instead looked out at her surroundings. She gasped when she found they were lying on the bed of her bedroom at the manor, looking as it had back when they had been together. "How? I don't -"

"Limbo can be whatever you wish it to be," he reminded her. She settled down against him again, sighed, and he took the opportunity to continue to stroke her back and play with the ends of her long her. "I thought you might find it more comforting to be here." And, before she could misunderstand, he added, "We're still in limbo."

"How did I get here?" she quietly asked, unwilling to move from the familiar and comforting touch of his hands, his body.

"Piper said the Elders believe you suffered a rift of your soul."

Phoebe's eyebrows wrinkled in confusion and she lifted her head to look at him, "What's that?" And, almost immediately, propped herself up, "Piper said? Was she here? Did she…Oh, God, did Piper die? She's pregnant, she can't be dead!"

He quickly grabbed her shoulders to keep her from sliding off the bed and running from the room. "Piper's fine. She used a water portal to get here and get back home." Phoebe seemed to calm and he continued, "She guessed that your torn soul might have ended up here and found me in order to find you."

Phoebe switched to a cross-legged position and faced him. "Why didn't she tell me you were here?"

He remained leaning back against the pillows and shrugged, "You'll have to ask her. I never asked her to keep it a secret."

She eyed him a moment, "But you didn't tell her to tell me, did you?"

"No," he admitted with a slight smirk before he turned serious, "you needed help, Phoebe. You were in danger of becoming lost. You needed to see that love is…" He reached out his hand and caressed her cheek, "Love is necessary to your very essence."

"Love hurts," she whispered.

"It does," he agreed, "but it can also be the most powerful positive force you can ever hope to feel. It can save you if you let it."

"Like it saved you?" she scoffed.

"Oh, Phoebe," he sat up and pulled her towards him, "it _did_ save me." He kissed the top of her head. "Love saved me and brought me to limbo. I exist in this realm _because_ of love."

Her eyes rolled with sarcasm, "Please…"

He gently pinched her chin with his fingertips and forced her to look him in the eyes and listen. "I was all-powerful, invincible, and obsessed with getting you back. I wasn't in a state where I could have listened to reason. And, within all the insanity, I killed. Not as Belthazor but as Cole. I killed an innocent, Phoebe, and for that alone, I should have been vanquished with a one-way ticket to the Wasteland."

She lowered her gaze, unable to face his expression, "I wish you'd never done it. I've never been able to get past it."

Cole kissed her crown once more and slid off the bed. He strode to the vanity where his mind ran a slideshow of images of her sitting there, getting ready for the day or for bed. "Phoebe, I tried to recreate the world and failed. And my one-way vanquish to the Wasteland ended up being a one-way ticket to Limbo."

"Why don't you just leave through a portal?"

He didn't turned around, "Because I no longer exist in the real world so there's no place for me to return."

"So why not go through the vortex?" Phoebe asked as she slid across the bed and moved to stand next him. She touched his back with the palm of her hand and watched their reflections in the mirror. "Why not move on to what's next, maybe even be reborn?"

He smiled bitterly, "Who says I get to move on?"

"I don't understand," she replied as she turned him towards her. "Doesn't the vortex work anymore?"

He toyed with the ends of her hair again and hesitantly admitted, "It works….for others."

"You can't leave?"

"It's my penance," he shrugged before dropping his hand and turning towards the door. "Come, we have to go."

But she grabbed his hand to stop him. "Penance? For how long?"

He shrugged again, "Eternity?"

Phoebe frowned, "Eternity? How is that fair? Even if you're doing penance for your sins, you were only a hundred when you died, how can eternity be a fair punishment?"

"Technically, I was a hundred and seventeen," he corrected. And he smiled with amusement when she glared at him. That spark of emotion proved there was a glimmer of hope to save her soul.


	5. part 5

_**December 31, 2006 – 11:30 p.m.**_

"You've been spying on me?"

"I'm dead, Phoebe," he winced, "not deaf. And, no, I haven't been spying on you."

"You knew enough about my life to send Drake my way and to know that Coop -"

"Just because I keep an eye on you every now and then doesn't mean I'm spying."

She spun from him in anger but jerked back when she suddenly found herself in the attic staring at her body lying on the sofa. She watched as Coop knelt next to the sofa and then stared down at her own hands and thought it strange that she couldn't feel Coop gripping them as he did her body's.

When she felt Cole's hands settle on her shoulders, she sighed as the anger melted away. "How can you stand it?"

"I want you to be happy," he quietly told her. "He makes you happy."

Phoebe nodded but tilted her head down to press her cheek to his hand. "_You_ made me happy."

He kissed the top of her head. "For a while."

"I hate this time of year," she whispered as she turned around and wrapped her arms around his waist. "It's worse than when I remember the dates for Prue."

"Because we loved you differently," he reasoned. "Love comes in so many forms and there's no right or wrong to any of them. There's just love and, when you lose that love, it hurts. But it's not the end, Phoebe, what's left is still love."

"You sound so much like him," she murmured, her face pressed to his chest.

"Well there's no need for insults," he grumbled. But it was only half-hearted when she chuckled as he'd hoped. He kissed her crown again. "He unlocked your heart, Phoebe. You deserve his love. Stop second-guessing everything."

"I never got to say goodbye," she whispered again even as she watched Coop disappear from the attic, his heart glowing until it, too, faded, "and I couldn't handle thinking about you, not even the love. I just boxed it up and locked it away."

"I know." He gently pried her from him and lightly gripped her upper arms, "I know. And that's why I sent Drake to you. If anyone could convince you about love, I thought it would be him. And," he slowly admitted, "I thought he would be good for you, that you would be good for each other."

"But he died," Phoebe said as tears began to stream down her cheeks. "I fell for him and I lost him before we had a chance to see so I just packed love away again. I didn't even know I was doing it, shielding my heart, until Coop showed me this year."

"He's not going anywhere, Phoebe," Cole told her. "He's here to stay. You can love him without fear."

"How can I? How can I when it means…"

"When it means what?" But Phoebe only shook her head so he wrapped his arms around her again. "It's okay, Phoebe."

"Loving him, this promised future with him, it means…" She buried her face in his chest and squeezed her arms tighter around him as she confessed, "It means it's real and there's no…there's not even the slightest chance…"

Understanding dawned and Cole was nearly overcome with emotion. "Oh, baby, there hasn't been a chance of that since I accepted the Avatars offer." She was crying softly and he continued as he stroked her back, "I love you, Phoebe, but you have to let me go."

"I can't," she uttered as her knees buckled. "I can't and, oh, God, oh, God, Cole, I love you! I do! But I love Coop too and it's…it's tearing me apart! I can't…I don't…I can't…"

"Hush…" he murmured as he gently lowered them both to the floor and rocked her in his arms. "It's okay…it's okay…"

Oblivious to their supernatural presence, Paige orbed into the attic just as Piper entered with Leo close behind. "Okay, Leo, where's the spell?"

"Coop!" Piper called out.

"Never mind Coop," Paige insisted. "Leo, did you get it?"

"Coop!" Piper shouted again.

"What spell?" Phoebe sniffled into Cole's chest, still keeping her arms tight around him.

He was about to reply when Coop appeared in the room. Coop immediately went to sit on the sofa and brought Phoebe's hand to his lips.

"He loves you," Cole quietly told the Phoebe in his arms.

She sniffled again and, still in the embrace of the man she loved, she turned her head to watch the other man she loved. "He looks so tired."

Although she was reluctant to move, Cole helped Phoebe to her feet. "He's worried about you."

Leo handed Paige a sheet of paper but cautioned the sisters, "It's old and powerful and will require the Power of Three."

"Of which we're one short," Piper muttered as she glanced at Phoebe's body. "Ideas?"

"You could wait for Phoebe to wake up," Coop said. "She seems even stronger now. It shouldn't be much longer."

It was a moment before Leo agreed, "But it may not work given that she doesn't have her full soul."

"So what about Prue?" Paige wondered. "Five years is long enough, don't you think, for her to come back."

Leo shook his head, "After I found the spell, I went and asked. They won't send Prue without reason."

"Without reason?"

"Piper, calm down." Paige laid her hand on Piper's arm as soon as the old teapot in the corner exploded. Her sister hadn't lost control like that in years. "We've been around the Elders long enough to know they've got their own way of looking at things."

Leo, having expected his wife's reaction, sighed, "They believe that Phoebe will be fine so there's no need for Prue to return for what they feel will be a wasted effort. No one has ever repaired a rifted soul. And they don't believe the spell will work, even with the Power of Three."

"What if we had Wyatt say the spell with us?" Paige suggested.

"As powerful as he might be," Leo sighed, "he's not a Charmed One, not yet anyway."

Piper closed her eyes and took a deep breath before opening them. "Fine. So we'll bring mom back from the past, from when she was pregnant with Phoebe. It's worked before, it'll work now."

"And maybe I have a better idea," Cole said. He kissed Phoebe gently on the lips and squeezed her hand as he informed her, "It's time to go." And before she could say anything, he materialized them both before the others.

"You found her!" Piper exclaimed with relief.

"Thank you, Cole," Leo greeted.

Cole understood Leo didn't just refer to finding Phoebe and merely said, "You're welcome." And with a slight nod to Piper's condition, he wished Leo, "Congratulations."

As she watched Leo nod his thanks, Paige muttered, "This is so not happening." And she glared at her eldest sister, "Old friend?"

Piper shrugged and reached for Leo's hand. "Pheebs, you okay?"

But Phoebe, who hadn't released her hand from Cole's, focused on Coop who still sat next to her body. His eyes were filled with a mixture of relief and sorrow. She felt Cole nudge her towards Coop but she still couldn't find the right words to say.

When she didn't say anything, Cole did. "She loves you."

Coop didn't move and simply replied, "I know."

"You make her happy," Cole continued, "and she wants a life with you, a future with you by her side."

"Funny," Coop said as he glanced to Piper, recalling their earlier conversation, "I'm suddenly not so sure." He shifted his gaze back to the silent Phoebe and quietly added, "Maybe it's different now that there does seem to be a choice."

"There is no choice," Cole stated.

"Isn't there?" Paige muttered.

"I'm in limbo for eternity," Cole announced to everyone in a clear voice to ensure no one misunderstood, not even Phoebe, "atoning for my sins, helping lost, or about to be lost, souls, and I can't ever leave that realm."

"Oh really?" Paige's gaze narrowed.

"Only for brief moments of time," Cole conceded. "I don't belong here and Phoebe doesn't belong in limbo."

Coop stood and approached the soul of the woman he loved as the demon stepped to the side. She had tears in her eyes and he gently brought his fingertips to her cheek just as they started to fall. "Perhaps she does."

"No," Cole angrily declared, "she doesn't."

"She's happy," Coop quietly stated.

"I told you I was," Phoebe finally said in a hushed voice. "You make me happy, Coop."

He shook his head, "But this is a different happiness. I can sense it. It feels more…complete."

"You're sensing her other half," Leo reminded him, "the half that's more connected to -"

"Cole," Coop understood as he looked to the demon.

Cole watched Phoebe's face crumble and told her, "Don't fear love. Don't let it tear you apart. Let yourself bask in it."

Startled by the words she'd once heard from a different demon, Phoebe frowned, "Drake? Why bring him up now?"

"To remind you that you can love more than one," he caressed her cheek, "and not feel guilt. He wouldn't love you any less. Nor would I."

"But -"

Phoebe was interrupted when Paige gasped her name. She turned to find her body stirring.

Sitting up on the sofa, Phoebe brought a hand to her head. The room spun and she closed her eyes, opening them when she felt Coop's arms supporting her. "Oh, Coop, you're here." She sighed with relief before she opened her eyes and gasped in shock when she saw Cole standing in the middle of the attic next to a version of herself. "What's going on? What's he doing here? Who's that?"

"It's okay," Coop told her. "It'll be okay," he murmured as he tried to calm her down.

"Long story short," Paige told her, "Your soul was split and we need the Power of Three to put you back together."

"And now you're awake," Piper nodded, "so it should work. Right, Leo?"

"I don't understand," Phoebe admitted as she tried not to fidget in Coop's arms.

"It _could_ work," Leo theorized. "If both Phoebes say the spell, it could work."

Phoebe's soul hadn't yet moved from Cole's side. "Could someone fill me in?"

"No one's ever put back together a soul that's been split," Paige obliged. "But Leo's found a spell that might work and we need the Power of Three so let's get to it."

"We have nothing to lose, Pheebs," Piper encouraged. "All you, both of you, need to do is say the spell with us."

Phoebe's body, still resting against Coop, quietly asked, "What if it doesn't work? What happens to me then?"

"You'll be fine," Coop assured her. "You will live a long and happy life. And you'll still be Charmed."

"But your powers will never reach full strength," Leo cautioned. "And, it's possible that Power of Three spells will no longer be effective against upper-level demons."

"Then we'll be more creative with our vanquishes," Paige decided. "We'll find a way to make it work."

Phoebe's soul questioned Leo, "Will there be a void? Will my body just be an open invitation for possession?"

"Your body will still contain your soul," Cole told her. "This isn't the same thing as stripping Belthazor."

"Besides," Piper reminded her, "this past spring, parts of our souls weren't missing and we had no trouble taking in the Hollow. Don't worry, Pheebs. You heard Leo, even the Elders believe you'll be fine if the spell doesn't work."

"Then why bother?" Phoebe muttered from the sofa.

All eyes turned to her but it was Paige who snapped, "Do you _want_ to lose half your soul? I get that you're in pain, Phoebe, I do. But we're talking about your soul here."

Coop squeezed her hand and gazed into her eyes. "But it's _your_ decision, love."

"Even if…" Phoebe whispered back.

"Even if," he assured her with a tender kiss to her forehead.

"You can't be serious!" Paige sputtered. "This isn't a game!"

"We know that, Paige," Phoebe's soul quietly replied as she watched her body interact with Coop. She turned her attention back to Cole. "If there's ever a time for you to speak up, now is it."

"It's not my decision," he firmly told her, sticking his hands in his pocket. "I won't be involved in making it."

"You _are_ involved!" Paige accused. "She made you involved!"

"Pheebs," Piper directed both her sister's soul and body, "Paige does have a point. We're talking about your future. You won't ever be whole, not really, and your powers won't ever reach their full potential."

"I've spent most of my life without my powers," Phoebe told her, squeezing Coop's hand for a boost of confidence, "and I'm not giving them up, not really. I'll get them back but how long until that happens? And once they're back, how many more years 'til I hone them enough to reach their potential."

"I don't see it as a loss either," Phoebe's soul murmured.

Phoebe's body stared at her soul before turning towards Leo, "You said I'll be okay, right?" He nodded and she let out a breath, "Then there's no need to try."

"But, Phoebe…"

"It needs to be _my_ choice, Paige, not yours and not Piper's," Phoebe's soul insisted. "I know you're both scared for me but _I'll_ be the one most affected by the consequences. And I know that whether the spell fails or not, I'll always feel that my future came about because of a spell, not a choice, and I'll grow resentful, no matter which realm I'm in. Can you understand that?"

"Not really," Paige admitted. "I'd want to take any chance I could to heal myself. This spell's your only chance."

Phoebe's soul shook her head, "I'll have a future whether I try this spell or not but I don't want my future decided upon by the consequence of that spell. It needs to be based on a _choice_ of what I want."

"And that choice is whether or not to even try the spell," her body declared. She finally stood, letting Coop's arm wrap around her shoulders to keep her steady. With his help, she approached Cole and waited a moment for Coop to step back before she caressed Cole's cheek. "I hope you know that I _do_ love you. And that I'm sorry."

Cole nodded, "As am I. I'm…better at love now, Phoebe, and my feelings for you will never change." He was rewarded with the ghost of a smile and he kissed her forehead before taking a step back.

Phoebe's soul had already approached Coop. "I _do_ love you. Please don't ever doubt that."

"Never," he promised as he reached for her hand and brought it to his heart. It pulsed a few glowing beats as he added, "I've felt it, love, all along, I've felt it." And then he, too, stepped back.

The two halves of the witch stood side-by-side and Cole warned them both, "Paige is right about this not being a game. You can't change your mind in a few weeks or a few centuries and call for a do-over."

"It can't be undone," Leo confirmed. "And your only shot at repairing the rift is to perform this spell now. If any more time passes, trying the spell might cause even more damage. You have to be sure, Phoebe."

The two halves held hands and stared at one another before replying, "I am."


	6. epilogue

_**December 31, 2006 – 11:59:48 p.m.**_

They stood in their sons' room watching the boys sleep when the grandfather clock began chiming midnight. Piper turned to bury her face in Leo's chest as she tightened her arms around his torso.

"She'll be okay," he promised as he kissed the top of her head.

"I feel like I've lost a part of her," she admitted, "and that makes me so sad."

"She's whole," he assured her. "Both Coop and Cole told you that."

She kissed his chest and sighed, "Because she's happy, happier than she's been in years."

Leo began to sway with her and, as he did, he stroked her long loose hair. "She's in love. And she won't ever feel guilty again for loving them both."

They danced in silence for a few more chimes before Piper quietly realized, "Phoebe believes in love now." She stopped moving and leaned back enough to gaze into his eyes. "I know she's loved before but something's changed in her. It's like she's not afraid of love anymore."

He kissed the tip of her nose, "She has no reason to be. She's loved, Piper, and she can finally accept it without fear, just as she can give love in return without fear."

"I don't think Phoebe will ever feel lost again."

"This is a new start for her," he smiled, "whether it's with Coop or with work. And, now that you don't have to worry about her anymore, it'll -"

"She's my sister, Leo, I'll _always_ worry about her."

"You'll worry less about her as you'll find new things to worry about," he chuckled. "Like," he patted her belly, "this little one or transforming P3 into a café or the restaurant of your dreams. This will be a new start for this entire family."

And as the last chime of the old year rang, she covered his hand with hers and dazzled him with a smile, "I love you."

"Happy New Year," he murmured as his lips found hers.

* * *

><p>One of the band members was playing a toned down drum-roll as all the guests on the dance floor shouted out the countdown.<p>

In a corner near the bar, Paige and Henry continued to sway slightly to and fro in the slow dance they'd been doing for fifteen minutes. Her head resting against his shoulder, Paige kept her eyes closed as she continued to tune out the crowd and tried to imagine them alone in the place.

"Stop worrying," Henry advised. "Phoebe's fine."

She merely nodded and then nuzzled her nose against him.

Henry shook his head and sighed, "Isn't this what you wanted for her?"

"I wanted her to be whole."

"And isn't she?"

"I suppose." Henry pinched her rear and she yelped, shifting slightly to glare at him. "Fine. She's whole."

He grinned. "Then let it go, Paige. If both the Cupid and the demon say she's completely happy and whole, let it go."

"Y'know, I think she means it about believing in love," she told him. "I think it's real for her now and I don't think she's afraid anymore. It's like she's got more confidence about love now. I'm not sure she'll ever feel lost again."

"That's good then. This was her choice, Paige."

They both looked up as confetti rained over the dance floor and they looked at each other and laughed, realizing they had missed the countdown altogether.

"This is a new start for her," he smiled, "a new start for all of us."

She smiled in return, "I love you."

"Happy New Year," he murmured as his lips found hers.

* * *

><p>Phoebe continued to stare out at the Italian coastline from the garden room. "It's so beautiful," she said in a hushed voice. She turned to him and spread her arms wide, "This whole place is beautiful."<p>

"You're allowed to be here," he chuckled. "You don't have to whisper."

Blushing, she shrugged and wandered over to the swing. The ropes suspending it were covered in lush flowers and, after she sat, she sniffed one and smiled. "Aren't you something of a rebel among the Cupids?"

This time, _he_ laughed, "Because I fell in love? That happens to Cupids more often than you think, Phoebe. But every now and then it's not unrequited and even a Cupid gets a 'happily ever after'."

She smiled and glanced around again at the beauty of the garden that was filled with fountains and flora and swings. She spotted a tiny cherub hovering over a nearby fountain and smiled when it bashfully darted behind a column having been caught spying on them. "So they're not going to boot you off Cupid's Temple for wanting to make a life with me, a witch at that?"

"Nope," he grinned at her before pointing a finger at the column. Tiny hearts shot from his finger tip in a line that wrapped around the column. In a few seconds, a squeal was heard and the little cherub flew away, rubbing its behind.

"Coop!" She failed to keep the amusement from her stern tone.

He pushed the swing gently but didn't apologize, "I requested privacy. He shouldn't have snuck in."

"Is our time up?" she worried, stopping the swing. "I should probably go back anyway, it's," she looked at her watch, "a few more seconds and it'll be midnight. Paige and Henry need my help at P3 and you've still got your case in Kentucky."

"Kansas," he corrected as he quickly moved in front of her before she could rise. And, before he lost his nerve, he dropped to his knees before her.

"Coop?"

He gripped her hands in his and brought them to his lips as he tried to quell the anxiety running through him.

"What is it? What's wrong?" she worried. "And don't say nothing because I can feel it. I may not have my empathy back but I can still feel _you_." She squeezed his hands back, "I promised you before, no more holding back. But same for you."

He gazed into her eyes and confessed, "I was scared, Phoebe. No, I was terrified. Different than when Piper told me you didn't survive the battle because I knew you were only unconscious but that didn't stop the fear that I'd still lost you."

"Oh, Coop," her eyes stung with tears, "I'm sorry." She pulled her hands free and framed his face with them, "I'm so sorry that I hurt you." He shook his head but she kissed him tenderly. "I did and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"You were in pain," he reminded her. "A pain I couldn't see but…"

"I love you so much, Coop," she fiercely told him in a quiet voice, "so much that my heart aches if I think for even one moment of living my life without you."

"Then marry me," he requested, "and have that life with me." She was stunned and he quickly continued as he grabbed her hands again. He stared at them, rubbing his thumbs over them, "I know we don't have to prove our love to anyone and that we wanted to enjoy taking things slow, but," he looked up into her eyes as if searching for an answer, "I don't want to wait any more. I _can't_. I'm ready, Phoebe. I'm ready for that life. I love you and I want you to be my wife and I want to give you -"

"Yes," Phoebe interrupted with a kiss. "Yes, I'll marry you." Now Coop seemed stunned and the words just flew from her lips, "If this rift taught me anything it's that I don't have to be afraid of love anymore. I can love Cole and I can let him love me. And I don't have to be afraid of how it will affect you and me because it doesn't. What I have with you, Coop, what we have is a miracle. And I don't want to wait any more either. I'm ready to be your wife and -"

This time, it was Coop who interrupted with a kiss, one he didn't break as he joined her on the swing. When they paused for air, they spent a few moments simply gazing at one another, caressing one another's face. Then, with his arm around her shoulders, she sighed and leaned into him as he pushed the swing with his foot.

She wrapped her arms around his waist and sighed happily again. "Can we get married here at the Temple?"

"I was thinking of Magic School," he admitted. "We could probably use all the magic we can get for blessing this union. Not that it's not a blessed union," he quickly added.

"Then maybe we should see if that Angel of Destiny has an opening in her schedule for us," Phoebe suggested, smiling.

"Maybe we should," he agreed with another kiss. "Now, I did have some ideas about the Temple and a _honeymoon_…"

"Oh?" Her eyes glittered and, walking her fingers up his chest, she added, "I've got some ideas about a honeymoon, too…"

Coop nipped at the fingertips that reached his lips and tightened his hold on her. He kissed her temple and promised, "This will be a new start for us, love, the perfect new start."

With a smile radiant of love, she repeated her earlier declaration, "I love you."

"Happy New Year," he murmured as his lips found hers.

* * *

><p>"Happy New Year," Phoebe replied in a whisper even though she knew Coop couldn't hear her. "Well," she turned to Cole who stood a few feet behind her, "this isn't exactly how I pictured the countdown would be like when I woke up this morning."<p>

"Are you all right?" Cole asked, unsure he wanted to hear her response.

"It's a bit overwhelming," she admitted as she stepped towards him. "And a bit strange watching him with her. I never thought he would pick tonight to propose. And I certainly didn't expect the proposal to be like this."

"Romantic?"

She thought a moment. "Urgent. Desperate. It's like he was afraid if he didn't propose, I'd look for a way out. And I was so quick to answer as if I was afraid he didn't mean it or wouldn't ever ask me again."

"You'd have said yes whenever he'd have asked."

"Yes," she warily confirmed. "You said you'd watched me. You knew my relationship with Coop would result in marriage." He simply nodded and she tried to figure out what was wrong but was distracted by a soft giggle. She glanced at the couple making out on the swing and sighed, "It's me but it's not me."

He bit his tongue to keep from asking the question she all but prompted.

Disturbed by his silence, she reached for his hand and led him away from the couple toward one of the fountains hidden among the flowering shrubs. "Coop's told me about the Temple but never brought me here. How did you know this is where he'd take me tonight?"

He remained silent and she hesitated, "Did you find them because you sensed me?"

"I can sense you, I can sense her."

"How is that possible if my soul was torn in two? Aren't we two separate souls now?"

"She's still you, Phoebe," he shrugged, removing his hand from hers, and stepped away to continue watching the swing.

"Do you think I'll be able to sense her, find her, like you can?"

"Perhaps."

She was growing even more frustrated with his short answers and his distance. "Still, it's beautiful here, peaceful too."

"It is," he agreed while his gaze remained solely focused on the peacefully swinging couple.

Phoebe watched them too. She then looked back at him and stepped close, reaching again for his hand. With her other hand, she gently turned his chin so he would look at her instead. "I made the right choice," she stated.

"Did you?" he questioned as jerked his chin and hand free.

"What is wrong with you?"

Instead of answering, he spun on his heels and stalked back to the swing.

She frowned and hurried after him. "What's wrong, Cole? Why won't you talk to me?"

"There's nothing to say, is there," he commented.

"You had your chance to speak up," she reminded him. "If you didn't want me here, you should have said so." Again he didn't speak so she stepped back. "Maybe I should just use the vortex. Take me back. I don't want to be here anymore."

"Would you laugh if I said I'm afraid?"

She did laugh but apologized quickly when he sighed. "I'm sorry, Cole. Honest."

"I shouldn't have said anything."

"Of course you should," she insisted. "No more secrets. The only way this will work with us is if there's honesty. It's just…since I, since we, made the decision, you've all but ignored me." She shrugged, "You seem more interested in _her_ when _I'm_ the one in limbo with you."

His eyebrow lifted. "Jealous?"

"Of myself?" She glanced at the couple. "I suppose I should be but I'm not. I do love Coop, you know that. But I chose _you_, Cole. I choose to love you and be with you."

His eyes narrowed, "For eternity?"

She shrugged, "If that's how long you'll have me." He was silent again and she sighed, "Y'know, since you found me in limbo, the one thing you've never said is that you want me to stay with you. You said you wanted me to be whole, you wanted me to have my future with Coop, you wanted the Power of Three at full strength, you even said you loved me. But you never said you wanted me to stay." He remained silent but now she sensed it was more because she was on the right path so she continued, "I think you wanted me to stay. I think you wanted me to stay so badly but you were afraid I would say no, that I couldn't handle an eternity with you, so you didn't even risk asking."

"I _do_ love you."

She brushed her hand against his cheek, relieved when he closed his eyes and seemed to press his cheek into her palm. "I think you said everything you could to make sure I knew this was _my_ decision, _my_ choice, and no one else's."

"Coop said that first."

"He did," she agreed. "But you stepped back, just like Coop, and didn't allow your own desire to influence my decision."

Again, Cole neither confirmed nor denied her statement. He needed to hear the rest so he waved a hand inviting her to continue.

"I made my choice, Cole. We both did. We understood what the consequences would be and, even if it means my powers never reach their full potential, even if it means we might lose the full strength of the Power of Three, we chose the _only_ option that would make it possible for us to be happy."

"Not the only option," he argued. "Take a good look, Phoebe. That could be _you_ sitting right there in the Cupid's arms. It's more important to me that _you_ be happy, happy and whole. And you can have it all if you only say the spell."

"Leo said -"

"There's still enough time," he angrily interrupted. She shook her head and he shoved his hands in his pockets to avoid the temptation of shaking sense into her. "I don't give a damn what you told everyone. I know you, Phoebe, often better than you know yourself. And you _can't_ be whole if a part of your soul remains in limbo."

"You sense her," she snapped. "You sense her enough to be able to track her. Don't stand there and tell me you can't also feel her love. Or feel mine."

"I never said I couldn't feel it," he retorted.

"But you don't believe it."

They stood, glaring at one another, for another few moments, until their attention was called back to the newly engaged couple. Neither smiled as they watched the Cupid, on bended knee, slide a ring onto his fiancées finger.

As she watched, Phoebe ignored the tears that began to trickle down her cheeks. And she gasped when she felt Cole's fingers lightly brush them away. She covered his wrists with her hands, "Please…please believe me."

Kissing her forehead, he quietly said, "I do, Phoebe. I've believed you from the minute I discovered you in limbo. And both the Cupid and I can feel the change in you. We can feel the love and the peace."

"I feel…I feel whole now," she cautiously whispered as she leaned into him. "Even when I was planning my future with Coop there was a part of me, a part that felt missing, lost. I don't feel that anymore."

"She doesn't feel that anymore either," he assured her.

She nodded, "This is a new start for her, for me."

"This is a new start for each one of us." Finally, Cole allowed himself to smile, "I'm glad you're here, Phoebe."

"I knew it," she teased. She threw her arms around his neck and giggled when he lifted her up. "I love you."

"Happy New Year," he murmured as his lips found hers.

But when he set her feet on the floor and released her, she yanked him close again and corrected him, "Happy New _Eternity_."

And as their lips met again, Cole warned her, "You're in _my_ realm now and you won't always have the last word."

"It's _our_ realm now," she chastised before giggling, "and that's what _you_ think."

"I love you, Phoebe," he sighed.

"No more than I love you," she declared. "See, got the last word in again…"

His sigh was barely audible over her fading giggle as they disappeared deeper into limbo.

But at that very moment, in the Temple's garden room, with his arms wrapped around his fiancee, the Cupid kissed her crown and smiled.

_**the end**_


End file.
